Little things

This morning was nuts despite every effort to focus on the moment, to silence the negative thoughts nipping at my heels. School was closed, and then canceled again because of icy roads (will winter never end?); the puppy escaped; my husband had an early meeting and left the house before he could unload the dishwasher (yes, I guess he does help in the kitchen); the car ice scraper went missing; and on and on.

All little things, and compared to 98% of people, I have absolutely no room to complain. When the whirlwind of minutea threatens to suck me up, I fight back small. I gain some measure of control with more little things: excavating my purse or deleting photos from my Dropbox. 

It takes five minutes, doesn't hurt anyone (and I would argue that it helps), and I feel better already.

A wandering mind

A few weeks ago, I caught the end of an interview on how a wandering mind can lead to unhappiness. I always thought that daydreamers were blissful, content in their own world. It turns out that when our minds go somewhere else, it is not to a tropical island to escape the reality of a never-ending winter. It is to the grocery list, to carpool plans, to a dentist appointment, which now conflicts with the meeting you just scheduled.

Matt Killngsworth's TED Talk lays it all out in around five minutes. Check it out. According to his data (gathered via an app), our minds wander 47% of the time.

First, that's a lot of time, mostly wasted. Second, if mind-wandering makes us unhappy, think of the repercussions. 

Furrowed brow

An email from a friend last week included the phrase, "furrowed brow," which I just can't shake. Referring to her ex-husband (I also have one), she wrote, "It also kinda brings out a side of me that isn't really me - it makes me this furrowed brow angry person. So, in the end, it kind of changes me, which I really resent."

Wow. "Wow," I thought, "Me too!"

To be honest, I am not, nor will I ever be a pollyanna, try as I might. But here's what I can do -- pinpoint and dwell on the little things that bring me joy: a chicken pecking my red toenails, my daughter's smile, the smell of fresh rosemary. Sometimes my brain is so full of things that furrow my brow it's hard to make room, so I am starting small. For every negative thought, one positive. Surely I can do that.

An egg shaped like the US --> :)

Walk on

Today I walked. For someone once tied to her Garmin, obsessively checking calories burned, pace, and mileage, this is news. If I had been running today, I might not have noticed the fellow walker wearing a beret, the woman with the sweatshirt that said simply "eat," or the heron blending into his surroundings.

Did I burn 500 calories? No. Did I sweat? Not much. But I did see the heron, and walking feels better than running away.

Simple vs. selfish

The email reads, "What do you think about my inviting [a family of four] to stay with us for those four nights? We could put one couple on the inflatable in my office, the other on the pull-out couch in the room opposite (or in Z’s room, bunking her with A.)  Upside, beyond the pleasure of good company, is that they’d surely reciprocate in [their home country], etc."

What do I think? I think I am tired and do not feel like making conversation with people I do not know, cooking for them, cleaning the house to prepare for their visit. I also think I am selfish and boring. Why am I not automatically open to new experiences? Why am I so inhospitable? Saying yes will make my life less simple, but probably a lot more rich.

Yes.

Carpool and crockpot

Tonight promises to be a relatively calm night in my house; I get home from work at 5:30, but my older daughter has to be somewhere by 4:30 (we are carpooling*, and my husband is pitching in*). My younger daughter is going to a school dance at 6 -- but with the longer days she can walk*. So I COULD stand over the stove. But it's Friday, it's spring, and I would rather sit outside and read and have dinner magically appear.

So I am trying crockpot* vegetarian lasagne from Pinch of Yum. I'll let you know how it goes. Yum.

* tactics for making things simpler

Getting my feet wet

I chose the Simple template for my blog, not because of the name, but because I liked it for its lack of clutter. In fact, I removed a couple of elements that I deemed unnecessary -- and that is what I am striving for in my life. Nothing extra. Only what is truly needed and makes me happy.

Over the years I have made many steps toward decluttering and streamlining, donating kids' toys that would not be (and were not) missed, packing lunches the night before, employing the crockpot, trying to say "no," curbing my obsessive and time-consuming daily running habit....

But now it time to simplify in a bigger way, with the end goal being happy, or at least content. Lofty, I know. With this blog I intend to get my feet wet, reach of to other like-minded people, learn a lot, make mistakes, and ever day get one step closer.

Wish me luck.